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I was in the same boat and if it had come to court, I would have probably helped one of my abusers to get away. He touched me... Innappropriately to say the least. When recalling the info to the social worker, by my reaction to just her asking me to act out what he did, I went insane... I was hysterical so they decided not to take it to court, if they had I would have for some reason asked for him not to be punished. I spent years after the fact beating myself up over it. Thinking it was my fault he was no longer able to work with children since I opened my mouth. He never went to jail, he just lost his job and I hated myself for it. For years I blamed myself...
I know who was to blame now but it doesn't stop the moments where I feel there was something I should have done to avoid anyones lives being messed up at all... But there was nothing I could have done, he was a pedophile and had a history of it before me. But the heart doesn't know facts, it knows feelings... And these sick people put these false feelings into us and I'm still trying to work through them!!!!!!!
Why is there not tougher punishment for this? Is 24 years of suffering not enough to punish someone? And I'm sure there are many more years I will have to go before I am as well as I wish to be... As well as the normal person... Is that not enough to put these people away? It's not enough for me to condemn them... Perhaps it's the thought of causing pain to someone else that causes me and others to try to help their abusers... I would never want anyone at all to hurt like I did... Perhaps that is where I went wrong
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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