I'm just waiting for the miracle med which will take me out of my hellhole, or for god/Buddha etc to place me in a field of flowers & sunshine. I just count doen the hourds till I can go. I've put my plan on hold. I told my doc I'd wait till i'd given treatment a proper shot, before giving up. I'm just waititng for a lil glimmer of positivity. Gppd luck with your battle.