I'm not sure there is anything wrong with you at all. I'm sorry that you feel bad of course. Not everyone is cut from the same mold at all, and it *does* hurt when you try to smash yourself into it.

I've seen people cut off hunks of themselves in order to fit into the mold. So sad, so very very sad.

However, what happens now is that you get to chose your own path, and that carries with its own set of worries and sacrifices.

You get to chose how you live, either reluctantly, or full on.

I guess the single best piece of advice I can give you is to trust yourself.