you dont sound stupid at all so I think you can pretty much delete that from your thoughts. Why do yo want to call yoursefl stupid? And even if were aren't the smartes on the block what does that really mean in the big scheme? You sound perfectly charming to me and you are sweetly worried about what others think about you which mean you must want to know others which is already a smart idea !!! I battle with the self-hate thing too and it comes from my not getting things done. If I get a lot of things done, I like myself and if I don't get a lot of things done, I dont like myself........ but really..... what differrance does that make? I would be much better off getting nothing done but liking myself.... and that makes much more sense...... but try to tell me that ......... I'll fight yah every step of the way. So, I've made a compromise. I do what I can and I'm glad for what I can do .......... You are not stupid and anyone who reads your post can see that . Now, you have to see it too..........