I did the opposite for many years-- being super blunt, obnoxious, loud, irreverent-- but it was for the same purpose of being anxious about being rejected. But if I could get people to reject me over something specific that I was deliberately engaging in (my own behavior), then *I* wasn't being rejected. It's just really the opposite on the pendulum swing from sucking up, but it has the same effect.

For me, finding my authentic self involved being less reactive and more reflective, which tended to make me more soft spoken, to listen more and talk less, to have a much better "filter." I wonder if focusing on your ability to be reflective (to be able to see yourself as you are engaging in people pleasing) and less reflective (automatically defaulting to this behavior) might be one way to begin to talk this.

Anne