I think that is the crux of being a people pleaser; it's not really about pleasing, it is about keeping our anxiety at bay, it's fear of the mother's (or others') expressing of anger and withholding of "love" from us, if they don't like us, they might abandon us.

The only way I have found to change that is to focus on myself. When I am feeling centered in myself, know who I am and what I want and am working on my issues, other people's attitudes toward me, especially former care-takers, are not as important. I know I can care for myself, I know when I have difficulties, how to ask someone for help, etc. Other people's expression of anger is an attempt at communication with me, not a threat to me and my safety. I cannot be abandoned because I'm with me and I do not have relationships with people who are going to/can abandon me.