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Yes, awareness is the first step emamma and I think that you will work through this just fine. I'll bet there is some fear in there that kept you repeating this behavior all of these years.
I remember when I realized that I gave, gave, gave to narcissists. Once I realized it, it never occurred again.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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