But the thing with these dysfunctional families is that nothing will ever be good enough.

Children deserve this in a family: 1) to be loved for exactly who they are, 2) to be encouraged, 3) to never be shamed, 4) to be helped in their childhood development. And so on.........

What your parents do sounds very dysfunctional and spirit breaking. Distancing yourself from their "appraisals" would be a healthy thing to do.

You write that you have failed at everything. I really dislike the word fail. Everyone needs to keep trying at something and work around roadblocks in order to be successful. Sounds like you were discouraged and stopped too early. You should have been encouraged to keep trying.