This girl is not that interested in you. She might like you the most at the moment, but as soon as a better offer comes around, she is going to leave. Why else would she be maintaining a relationship with a prior boyfriend? This happens all the time. She is changing the name on the phone because she wants to hide this from you, but she cannot bring herself to tell him that she loves someone else and wants to have an exclusive relationship. She does not like you enough to do this.
I personally will never date a smoker again. When you get into a relationship, you need to look at the person and all of their flaws, then ask yourself can I live with these flaws? If you cannot, you need to move on and keep looking. Smoking, drinking child rearing and money can be deal breakers in a relationship. I believe that other things can be negotiated.
You need to be careful about how you surprise women. If your surprises seem like an invasion or scary in any conceivable way, you will turn them off forever. They will simply write you off as desperate, clingy, untrusting, creepy….you get the idea.
Good luck with this one, it seems like their might already be too much sewage under the bridge.