I shut my family out on holidays. Espicially christmas. Becuase the whole process of deciding what gift to buy, shopping for it, stressing over money to buy it, decorating, traveling to see family, ect.... is all too much for me.

So a long time ago I starting telling my mom, sister... I don't celebrate chirstmas. They buy me a gift every year and I get them nothing. It's been that way for a long time. I just send cards. I feel sooooooo bad but I can't handle the stress of it all.

Maybe one day I'll have the strength to have a normal christmas like everyone else and actually enjoy it.