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Dec 12, 2011, 03:26 PM
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Washington State
Posts: 123
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My fiance’ is bipolar, possibly BPD, self-medicates with alcohol, will only take his real meds if he's having a really manic-depressive episode - they knock him out for at least a full day after. We had a little snit last week, once again he was paranoid that I was secretly messaging someone on my computer (even though he was sitting right there next to me). He threw a fit the rest of the night, wouldn’t go to sleep, kept getting in and out of bed, turning lights on, making noise and keeping me awake until 3am.
The next day, I was totally exhausted. I told him I’m cutting off a certain activity he likes to do with me because it tends to trigger his anxiety and paranoia. We have discussed it before and I warned him that if his paranoia continued I would cut it off. So anyway, he says to me basically, “that’s a bummer, but ok we’ll stop”. Then the rest of the day he gives me the cold/silent treatment. We made love that night but afterwards he gets up and broods around the house all night again, blaring music, slamming dishes around the kitchen, keeping me awake all night again.
The next morning, even though he insists there’s nothing wrong, the cold/silent treatment continues. He asks me how I’m doing and I tell him the truth, “honestly, I’m wrecked again today because you kept me awake all night.” He came to my work to have lunch with me as usual but just sat there silent the whole time. I tried maintaining a conversation but finally gave up. He normally IM’s me throughout the day, but that day he didn’t log on at all. It’s his way of “ignoring” me. But if I ever don't log on, he freaks out that I'm ignoring him.
It hurts me when he’s distant, but obviously I’m not gonna be able to drag any truth out of him. I have to wait until his time-bomb goes off again…never knowing when it will be or what will set it off.  But if I pretend to go on with my life as usual, he’ll get pissy and claim that I’m the one being distant. What the heck am I supposed to do with this?
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