Lots to take in here ... You must be exhausted!

So does he take his meds during the manic or the depressive episode? Or does he have mixed episodes? And the rest of the time he self-medicated with alcohol. What you're describing essentially is an untreated bipolar, possibly with a drinking problem. If he's not taking meds as prescribed, then they're not in his system at a level to be of any help. If he were using the meds properly, there ought to be no need for the self-medicating with alcohol.

Depending on his history with alcohol, past & current, the paranoia you describe could be related to that.

And what's it with you & coffee? Your interest AWA your screen name?