I explored the issues of exercising...why I avoided it, what fears I had and where they came from, and then set the goals (which were like stakes in the ground), which I expanded into objectives with timelines. Then, I created a situation where I kept talking about what aspects of the program I liked, and what I didn't. Interestingly, I learned that a lot of my other "issues" that have plagued me in other areas of my life surfaced in the exercise class itself. For example, I acted like the class clown in the exercise class, quite in keeping with pattern to take on the role of entertainer...as I do at my day job. Unfortunately, I also put up with some pretty unacceptable behavior handed down by the instructor at the exercise class (she used me as an example of how not to do certain exercises and called me "retarded" more than once, which was so unaccceptable on so many levels, and I said so....), until I made it clear that I would not tolerate such garbage. Also, a lot of my rather goofy and dysfunctional sibling oriented behavior surfaced in the class. All in all, I used the class as a laboratory for my therapy, and also attained some fitness goals while I did so. But I made a tangible goal: run a major road race, and I did it, and I think my T acted as a "coach."

As my depression continues to evaporate (in no small measure due to the exercise class), I can see how my therapy is turning more into a "coaching" relationship. I'm not sure that there was ever a huge difference in my mind. Perhaps this is all a bunch of semantics and it's me, less than the therapeutic process, that is shifting.

Just some observations.

blessings,
MCL