My mom and I were never that close, she always seemed distant, almost cold. I never doubted she loved me, I knew that, she just didn't really know how to show it. I kept wanting things to be different and they weren't no matter what I did. It took me years to realize that I can' t change who she is, she is who she is by the way she was raised. Once I accepted that, everything changed. Once I stopped expecting what she couldn't give me, well, it was ok. I stopped blaming her and more importantly myself. She gave me what she was capable of. She is 90 now and I treasure every moment I get with her. Funny, she never ends a phone call now without telling me she loves me and me telling her...Letting go of some things make things better .