When I was in the psych ward they said they would look into getting some help with housework, that could be a while and I am really not sure how that would work but I am willing to try it. I have some goals to accomplish before literally moving and a lot of growing left to do but I will not be 40 living with my Dad at least, that I can say for sure, especially if he just gets worse, sometimes I feel like if I didn't cook for him he wouldn't eat, he is that helpless (learned helplessness I am sure but helpless nonetheless) My niece gets a lot of help and she is the real shining light in my life. She is in the moderate to severe class at public school but I hear she is higher functioning than many of her peers, and talks a lot which is a miracle in itself because it was until she was around 4 that she would even say a complete sentence at all. Also she goes to a autistic day center after school until about 5pm so that helps. I can't have children because of the cancer and I have to say she is a living example to me of the bible verse about God working all things for good for those who love him, I see it that way anyway. My brother isn't really ready to go to therapy and my dad used to but doesn't anymore. Now, I am not sure how much insurance issues are a factor. I believe my brother said he is uncomfortable in group therapy and they won't offer him one on one right now. Dad is hard to say he doesn't talk to me much. Honestly my Dad acts more angry most of the time than depressed, when I can get him to talk at all. I am also trying not to talk or write in absolutes. (example I get no help from them) That isn't true, I don't get consistant or reliable help but I do get help from my brother when he feels like it. He has depression and while it isn't always apparent, it does come out once in a while when he feels like talking to me. He carries a lot of guilt about my mom's last days and how he feels he wasn't there for her, etc. I try to encourage him and let him know she wouldn't hold a grudge because she is perfect in a perfect place now, so Idk how much is getting through or what goes through his mind all the time. Anyway, I thank God for this website, it is getting me through the day and helping me to think rationally and work on my issues.