Second time this week I've just beat the crap out of my head.

It's one thing after another. I'm sooooo stressed out I could scream. I'm actually self medicating (a sprite and some Malibu rum; no worries, at this point. I don't drink very often at all. I just want to feel relaxed) . . . I just feel like I'm on the edge and about ready explode or burst into flames.

So, it did happen. Im responsible. I can't control it. It's an impulse. I can't see it coming.

I have PTSD and am really struggling.

Suggestions. . I've lit a candle, burning some incense.

It just feels like everymoment of my life is a struggle. I can't keep this pace.

I'm worried. I always start hitting the same side. It makes me feel crazy. No lumps today though. I'm worried I'm going to accidentally hurt myself.

I recently started depo and feel markedly more aggitated. I WANT TO BE NORMAL!