Thanks. I'm feeling kind of better now. I forced myself to study a bit for finals, and directing my focus away from how much I hate myself has helped. I still feel like it could come back. Ugggh, mixing the energy of hypomania with the dark thoughts of depression doesn't make for a good time!

But I do have all of you, which is something that I can't believe I doubted. I was just so convinced that I was cursed. It wasn't that I expected that you guys wouldn't care, so much as it was a belief that the powers that be wouldn't allow you to care, so that my misery would be complete.

It's kind of scary how much control an intense emotional state can have over rational thought.