I have invested enormous energy into managing my life..despite the handicaps of bpd.

thankfully some of these counter-illness behaviours are a habit now...like the basics in the home...

clean washing and neatness..always got new soap and stuff...keep tidy and that..
but I still lose it every now and then.I react to everything as though the world is after me especially when I am really sick....but when I am at my sickest!

the extreme emptiness really put's things in place...but then I panic.

what a unit huh?

I am selfish..cos I am high maintenance...I cannot cope with much...because I am not programmed to the world around me,

I am in a continuous alternative abstract....ya see, ..I have to create something out of 'nothing'....it's a very vulnerable situation..and I get angry alot because I am never ready for drama because I can't plan drama myself...except all of a sudden.!

oh geez I am just dribblin' here nevermind