that my SI was just something I did on occasion now and not everytime that I got urgy. I only went 3 weeks this go, which is horrible for me. I had a massive SI binge tonight that lasted hours and hours and I probably need to go to the ER for stitches but I can't bring myself to do it twice in less than a month. The main one is where I typically SI: vertically in the middle of my wrist. Last time I exposed tendon. I did this time as well not to mention I went deeper and blood gor absolutely everywhere. And on the others I exposed a good deal of fat and it gapes a lot. I am so ashamed of myself for losing control this way. It feels too familiar that I am heading back to where I was a couple of years ago. And on the one hand I want the comfort of SI-ing everyday but I am afraid of getting to that point again. I'm scared and I don't know what to do or how to stop this before it gets out of hand.