Hi adster. I know you rather not too, but going to a psychiatrist isn't too bad. If you need the help, you need the help. I've been to countless psychiatrists.

You do sound like you have depression, so you should take it very seriously, because it's your life. For depression you often need professional help, from a therapist or psychiatrist. (But if you really don't like professional help, you could try doing self-help programs. Online bookstores (or local bookstores) are good places to buy self-help books. They helped me a lot. With self-help I overcome ocd, ptsd, social anxiety, and made my depression manageable (but didn't cure it )

Anyway take care and I hope you do the right thing. Don't keep walking around with depression all your life. You need some form of treatment, be it medications, therapy, a self-help course, or even exercise.