**warning - this post is very blunt**

i am sorry to burst your bubble that quietly living a celibate life will save you and your family from the dread of your homosexuality, but it won't. people are not stupid. they will figure it out especially if you spend your days painting and have no interest in women or marriage. straight people will not want to bother with you. you will have no life to tell others about when they talk about their children and spouses. in short, you will still suffer terrible loneliness, discrimination and cruelty. people will be mean to you because they perceive you as gay, and you will not fit in anywhere. you will have few, if any, straight friends stick by you and, since you're closeted, you will have few, if any, gay friends. you will have trouble getting and holding jobs because of discrimination. and you may get very depressed. further, you will be horny as heck with no outlet except for masturbation which, quite frankly, will not satisfy your emotional or physical needs.

straight and religious people do not differentiate between celibate gays and sexually active gays - they treat all gays the same - badly. you will not be an exception. and, it sounds like you have few if any friends already. sorry to be so blunt but it's better to hear it from me than find out the sad truth yourself. the path you are choosing is much harder and more lonely than you imagine. you will grow older and your sexual needs will not diminish much. and, you will be praying at your mosque with a lot of handome men you will want to look at for enjoyment but can't out of shame and fear. you may pray to god for help but there will be none. as you get older, there will be more and more handsome young men you will find attractive that will stir your sexual needs, for which you have no outlet.

frankly, though this also is not recommended, a marriage of convenience is the best way to hide. better yet, if you want to be a painter, be like Gaughin and move to Tahiti to escape ignorant and intolerate religions completely.