I was so uncomfortable with the idea of bringing up my email when I had that meltdown....but I did. We started talking about my feelings about the email....

At the end of the session, T reassured me that he is never hurt or offended by any of my work that may involve him - whether it's a dream I had, or something he said or wrote, or anything. It's my work, and he's glad to be a part of it even if "he's stimulated in an unpleasant way".

I never thought in a million years that my triggers would have an unpleasant affect on him.....and even though he was trying to reassure me that it's OK to go there and to feel those things, he's not hurt or offended....it was like a kick in the gut.

T felt as though we accomplished a lot...but I'm having a really hard time with this new information. Which - again - to me is ridiculous because he said it in the context of trying to let me give myself permission to go there....and that he is in no way harmed by any of it....

Is it possible that by "stimulated in an unpleasant way" he was referring to the fact that he cares about you and that it is challenging to sit and watch you suffer? Therapists seem like very caring people, I imagine it's difficult to experience the pain that they witness.

big hugs to you. It sounds like you had a very productive session.

did he actually say that this was affecting him in a negative way or was he just kind of letting you know that you didn't need to take care of him and that even if something did affect him negatively that it was OK and that he even welcomed this as a way to work thing out with you together.i think he was trying to reassure you and your habit of thinking about things negatively may have gotten in the way and not allowed this to happen.

therapy is so hard and we read so much into things at times it seems almost imposable.keep moving forward MUE i think you are amazingly brave to share the things that you do.