Hi justme,

I am sorry for your loss. I've lost family members before and, from my experience, it always hurts and is sad. Crying is OK and healthy. The pain will diminish as time passes. There are other people related to your grandma who, most likely, hurt also. I don't believe you are alone. The pain will not go away if you ignore it. I know this from experience. Deal with it now or deal with it later. I strongly suggest you deal with it now by talking to someone you trust. Allow yourself to have emotions. Don't punish yourself.

God Bless you and your family. I will pray for you all...

Peace, A.