Okay, I told you guys about my husband deciding on his own, without my input, that we are never moving. Every time it came up he talked to me like I was a child who needed something explained to them. Well, yesterday he comes home and tells me that there is a promotion open at work and that he's been talking to the guy about it. Once again--any input I offered or questions I asked were basically laughed at or were disregarded. I finally told him that while, yes, I am bipolar I should be giving input to decisions, especially major ones. I told him that while I realize it doesn't effect him in any way if we don't move it has a major effect on my career and it is one that is truly destructive. If we stay here the best I can really hope for is to be a public librarian. That means starting out at $25,000, which my husband says isn't good enough. His attitude is that I may just have to take a job in an unrelated field, even if it means working as a secretary. No offense to any public librarians out there--but I didn't go get a MA in English, MS in Information Sciences and graduate with honors as an undergrad to be a public librarian or a legal assistant. When we moved the first time, he hadn't even attempted to find a job in the Nashville area and just assumed I would be fine with dropping out of the PhD program I was in. When I wasn't fine with just quitting my PhD he didn't understand.

Then last night it was like I wasn't capable of taking care of the kids. Everything I told them to do was either contradicted by him or he would jump in and take over. It was a battle to even get to hold the baby. After supper it was like, "You're done. Get your shower and go to bed." Well, the baby was super fussy at around 11:00. I tried to help and basically got told to go away. I stood my ground, gave the child gas drops for his tummy and Tylenol for his teeth and rocked him. He was happy being rocked by me--but then my husband decided he needed to send me to bed.

I know he's been supportive and he's probably just trying to help but I resent being treated like I'm a mentally handicapped person. I'm an intelligent human being who he has always bragged about being a good mother. Now I'm suddenly not capable of caring for my children? Who does he think is doing it when he's at work or out riding his motorcycle? A fairy godmother? Who does he think gives them their baths, helps our oldest with homework, takes care of the baby, holds their heads when they are vomiting and who does he think they are calling for when they have a nightmare during the night or get hurt? My twin?

It's just so totally insulting to be treated like an incompetent child all of the sudden because of my bipolar. Up until now he never gave a crap if I got sleep, was cycling, depressed, manic or whatever as long as he didn't have to do anything and got sex. I know his mom acts like I'm the worst mother of the year so maybe that's rubbing off on him. When the girls were little he did nothing--zero, nada--to help. He wouldn't even hold them unless he had to. I was basically a single mother with a wedding ring. I've proven for 8 years I am capable of caring for my children.

I know he's not having an affair because he's always at work when I call him and he's always home. So I don't worry about that. What I do worry about is my kids watching him and deciding "We don't have to listen to Mom" because he jumps in and takes over or contradicts me. I'm worried my kids will start acting like I'm an idiot, which is going to lead to them being grounded and losing privilges every time they turn around. I just want to be treated like I'm an intelligent human being and not a moron or a nutcase who might be committed at any minute. It's so frustrating and infuriating.