Dear one, are you able to talk to a professional? You definitely do sound depressed. As Rohag said, it's hard for people who have never been there to understand.

We do, though. And some folks have been where you are. Try to get up, though, and do at least one thing a day. Walking is great.

Can you talk to anyone IRL about how you feel? You don't say your age, but are you able to ask about a counselor?

As other folks said, please keep in touch with us! There is HOPE, whether you feel much of it right now or not.