I think a lot of us women/wives build our world around what makes our husband's happy and peaceful around the house. We try so hard to be sure the families needs are met that we and forget how to find hobbies, friends and joy in anything but our family. Then one day we notice that he is the one with friends, or the one trying out some new project or pursuing a new job and we are just along for the ride. I did all the wife and mother things right and in the process became, to him, a boring spouse he knew everything about that had nothing new and exciting to entertain him. My fault for loving a narcissist and serving him for so long, but I learned a lesson to be more for myself than his wife.

If he doesn't want to do things with you go out and do them on your own. Take a window shopping day, treat yourself to dinner or just go browse the library and get some books on something you always wanted to know more about. Make yourself active and happy and when you come home I bet you are refreshed and feel better and not so worried about what he says or doesn't say to you. I bet you are funny and interesting and that may be a threat to his friendships where he wants all the attention from them for himself. Also, I know about grieving as I have lost both parents. Today is my dad's birthday, he would have been 91. My mom died last year. My best coping is to distract myself from thoughts of them, although I do allow myself to cry, but not obsess because it hurts me too much to go there. Most men cannot deal with our sadness more than a hug or few minutes of holding, it just makes them uncomfortable. I think it's just a biological difference. You are not alone when it comes to the pain of loss, always remember that even if your husband cannot show the compassion you need. Others do feel the pain and understand. Hang in there, if nothing else stand in front of the mirror and grin at yourself, sometimes that works!