Thank you for the advice and support...
It made me feel better releasing...
my mind goes so fast with so many things sometimes I question my own sanity...and I can be way too emotional! I don't know why but most of the time I see my emotions as weakness... I think it has a lot to do with being around military for so long..... I do respect the self disciplin and control.... I actually almost joined when I was 21! .....ha, me taking orders all the time...... ....not a good idea!
I'm too messed up anyway, for now I am going to work on myself and later maybe the career.
Thanks again and Joyous, I hope you will be able to release and vent too... it does help!