Good Morning,
I would like to share something that has been on my mind. I work very part time for a catering company. I have three school age kids and my husband owns a small business. This is a very busy time of year for catering and I have been working 40+ hours per week. I really enjoy it. I feel upbeat, capable, and accepted as part of a good team of people. I have a sharp mind with a quick wit and can make people laugh.

I seem to have the talent of "turning off" my dark relentless depression.
How is that possible?

A few years back, I was hospitalized for eight nights because of depression. No one would have thought I was suffering because of my outward buoyant personality. In fact the breaking point took me surprise too.

I worry that as before my depression is stewing away and waiting to boil over while I ignore it and enjoy my time at work. I am (sadly) skilled at stuffing emotions.

Are on/ off switches common?
When I ended up in the hospital I was surprised and I am now wary to trust how I am feeling because I may just be stuffing. How can I really measure if my overall mental health is improving?
My psychiatrist told me she often tells people with depression to get up and out to improve their health. Her advice to me was to stop running so fast from thing to thing and try to be more aware of my feelings . Hard advice for me because I don't want to be alone with myself. It is like being solo in a bad neighborhood

What a ramble! Please let me know your thoughts.

Warmly,
Kate