Welcome to PC! I think you have found a warm and supportive place.

I would recommend a therapist for both of you, you especially. Regardless of what happens, you need a trained person for guidance.

Personally, I believe a fantasy (same sex relations/sex outside marriage) is one thing, but when someone acts on those feelings, everything changes. Especially for you and the child.

Since you're not sure what's been going on...please use protection/condom during sex now. And if he does have sex outside your marriage, please, please use a condom.

Post here, post often.