Stumpy, being a non-conformist doesn't have to lead to a wrong. And that is often why "House" is a draw for viewers. And as viewers watch that series they are left to wonder if House's non-conformist style is going to be productive or in the end counter productive.

And Stumpy, I hear you, I also find that speaking outside the box to others can feel fruitless and unwanted. And that is due to the fact that many people feel that the most secure position to be in is that of allowing themselves to conform to whatever structure is in place. And personally I find it amazing how some people conform to being controlled in ways that can truely limit and constrict them and even deceive them. And Stumpy, I have seen that so many times in my life that I have often been left very confused and even somewhat shocked.

Now here is where persuasion comes into play. Persuasion can be accomplished in a couple of ways and it does require some real thought, even out of the box thinking. Most people tend to conform and because they might be manipulated into thinking they are gaining somehow by conforming, there can be blindness involved. So the only way they can be persuaded away from whatever they are conforming to is by watching something take place that exhibits the gains of personal freedom by not conforming.

In PC one of the challenges that is often expressed is that of invalidation.
Many members that come here do so because outside PC they have struggled with issues (especially in the area of abuse) and were invalidated in many ways. All the hugs and hand holding that takes place here in PC may be the only place that a member can recieve that much needed response. And many times members really feel alone and misunderstood outside PC. And somehow they need to know that they are not alone in that area of being misunderstood. And when we talk about persuasion, often it is necessary for someone to understand that whatever issues they face along with personal confusion and sense of loss are valid.
And when we acknowledge the pain and personal struggle of another person we then can proceed to the next level of helping that person identify ways to work their way to healing and recovering some personal strength.

None of the members of PC are qualified therapists, other than DocJohn.
This is a support group and it can be very challenging because we do intermingle with quite a few disorders. And each disorder can present real difficulties for each member and what is often seen is a sentiment of a desire to self punish or a sense of failure. However there is a lot of anger and frustration as well, which is truely understandable in many cases.

Stumpy, within your own personal struggles you found ways to recognize
how you unknowingly gave into your mental illness, and better ways to prevent that process. So you are further along in learning how to consciously improve your perceptions that may have only served to keep you stuck in a troubled state of mind. And because you have achieved that it is easier for you to recognize the ways the others give into being stuck. And on some level you have learned that what may have worked for you at some point is when you left the confines of emotionality ruling you and embraced the intellectual path that provided a way out.

Your imput is important in PC. Because there has to be a combination of validation along with suggestions of how to take the next step. It is important to recognize how you might be getting shot down Stumpy. Also, are you getting shot down or do you just feel you are because you don't get an immediate response of unstuckness? It is not easy Stumpy to assist another person into adapting ways of helping themselves get unstuck. And the only way that can even begin to take place is by first validating that other person as well as helping that other person see their stuckness better. And that is a real challenge, especially here in PC. Because in PC we can come across other members that express themselves in ways (according to their disorder) that we can interpret as invasive, accusitory, maniupulative, disruptive, defensive, or so direct and black and white that they seem to convey an intentional critisism.

In all honesty, considering the variety of psychological issues along with a variety of obstacles members have endured due to parental upbringing, culture, and various societal conformities, this is an amazingly supportive site. And equally amazing to me is that there is a strong undertone of anger and frustration within many members here that can be so easily triggered and hard to contain.

This is an interesting topic to address in this environment Michael. As I mentioned earlier, I am not so sure your going to be left with an answer that will resolve your confusion. However you will have a variety of oppinions to consider.

Open Eyes