hi muffled. I'm sorry that you are going round in circles with your feelings and thoughts. Sometimes writing things down helps.

If you can keep a notebook, or a journal, and only write "snippets" of things as you think of them.. because then you don't have to keep them in your head.. you have them written down... it helps.

It's like a big ball of yarn or string? Trying to look at all the strings is so hard! But by pulling on one or two strings it can unravel easier and more calmly.