I'm proud of you for blocking urges as long as you can!!! Each time you block an urge...each time you put off self harm even one more hour...one more day... helps you to block it again when you feel the urge again. Each time you block an urge, you are doing self care, and healing.

No, you don't deserve to harm yourself for things that happen. Try and find something to put that energy into... dig in the dirt furiously and plant some flowers, repaint an old dresser or garage wall, go bat some balls or skip rocks, pound on a piano.... or volunteer and do good for others, help others feel better about themselves (like so many of you do here at PC) TC.