I agree with everyone. You're doing great; you're so kind and compassionate. I also agree that the first order of business should be to get a therapist for yourself. The second step, for me, would actually be to ask your husband to slow down a little. I think it would be perfectly okay for you to say "Hey, I know I said go for it, but I'm having some issues dealing with my own emotions at the moment. I'd like for us to slow things down a little, let me start some therapy, and get myself to a safe place before we move forward on this." You can reiterate that you aren't taking this away from him, you just need more time to adjust. It's a little surprising to me how quickly he jumped on it and began his hunt. You have to remember, that even though you love your husband, you still have to do what is best for you. I also think you should consider setting up some ground rules for the future. For instance, what if he decides he's bi and enjoys being married to you and being intimate with you, but also enjoys intimacy with men? Does doing it once automatically mean you're in an open relationship? I'm not trying to scare you, I just want you to think about the future a little. There is always the possibility that he'll do it with another guy, and realize he's bi, but wants to stay in a monogamous, committed relationship with you and just you. Which ever way it turns out, I still think therapy for you should be your priority to sort out whatever feelings you are already going through and will have in the future.

Good luck. Warm, safe thoughts sent your way