Dearest Sally...

I know you feel as though you are at the edge of a cliff nobody else has ever been on. Well, I have been where you are now even if some of the history and facts are different. I would really like to grab your hand and pull you from the edge as there are people who have survived this and even thrived from the experience. Again, I am one of them. I am here to offer you my complete support. I do not think this forum is appropriate to discuss the details in as the journey has been long and windy. Please private message me, and we can go from there. It would be great if we could speak over the telephone, ideally. But a PM exchange is the first step.

I want to say I can see how much you love your husband as you are willing to set him free for his own happiness despite the distress it will cause you. As far as your physical relationship with him, you need to be very careful at this point and in moving forward. I highly recommend you do not engage in any intimate sexual relations with him. Once he crosses the line, he is potentially exposing himself to multiple STD's and HIV/AIDS. Even if you use a condom during sex, you can still catch multiple STD's like climydia, herpes, syphilis, amongst others even if he used a condom when he engaged with another man. By mere contact in an intimate fashion, one can pass on these diseases whether or not he uses a condom during actual penetration with you or a man. You must protect yourself from the possibility that you could contract something. After all, you have a young son to be concerned about as well as yourself. I know this information through my own journey, although I was never at risk as my husband stopped engaging in intimacy with me long before he was intimate with a man. I will explain in greater detail in a more private setting.

There are many possible outcomes to your predicament. Technically, you are living on "the other side of the closet." If you google that term, you will find info that may be helpful to you. Going into the possible outcomes would cause a long post. in my situation, my husband and I were best friends for many years prior to marrying. Currently, I am still married to Him (Greg), for financial reasons as I am disabled, but we maintain a strictly platonic relationship. He lives around the corner and we share the dogs. We see each other every day and have dinner together every night. Still a housewife insofar as I cook for him every night. Things are wonderful now, but it took quite a bit of work to get to where we are. There is so much I have to say to you, but I do not have the time to post it all. Nor do I feel it is necessary to post it publicly. I just want you to know there is hope and happiness down the road.

Also, I want you to protect yourself physically from this point on. While I was never at risk, the things I have learned about what various men will do makes me worry for your safety. it is not just about what your husband does, but what the men he engages with have done. Once he crosses the line and comes back to you, you might as well have been with the same men he was with as the risks are all there. I will keep looking for a private message from you with so we can speak more frankly. Please feel free to ask me anything you want and tell me anything you may need to. No judgments here with respect to you or your husband. In matters such as these honest and open communication is fundamentally key. I hope you take advantage of my offer of support. Unlike you, I was all alone during the process as I did not turn to forums like these or meet anyone in the same situation to talk to. it would have been the best support I could have had. All you have to do is ask me and I am here for you.

in the meantime, I wish you peace and serenity within the chaos you find surrounding you.

take care and be well,
Callie Sloane