Thread: so hurt...
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Old Dec 15, 2011, 02:26 AM
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Lexi232 Lexi232 is offline
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(((((((((((((((((Blossom)))))))))))))))))))

I hope that session went alright!
I know how that can be wanting to teach the younger ones how to do certain things. But I have found you can't force them to. It's something they have to want to do. Just be there and accept them as they are, and let them know that you are there and reassure them that you will be there to help them through it whenever they are ready.
Not sure how long it will take, but once they trust and grow to know you mean what you say and wont leave them or leave them to be stuck a certain way if they dont like it, they will grow and allow you to nurture them if they want that too. Some may take much long than others, but please dont ever give up on them.

I'll give you an example for what happened with us.
Jessica had been hiding for a long while she had finally reached out, and was talking with me, then we fought over her age and some things, but in the end i just let it be by what she said cause it would calm her down. She always says she's the same age as everyone, she wants to be equal, not younger not older. But she was TERRIFIED to ever come out, so she never did, and refused anytime I tried to ask her to. then one day we were going shoping, and had a big hoodie on which made her feel secure, and I heard her mention wanting something, and i was like "okay.. but i want you to pick it out.. and i want you to get it.... " she was terriefed by that and rejected it, but i reassured her, that she could come out, and pick it up, whatever it was, and we would buy it. (we had enough money right then), and that i would stay present with her, just like shes been with me this whole time. I wouldn't ditch her. And if something happened she didn't want to deal with or got too scared, i wouldn't leave here there, all she had to say was "im done" and I would take back over... and so she tried it, and even bought the journal and pens, and a thing to hold the pens in, and then checked out, and went in and rode in the truck with our roomate, and got home and drew in it, before she was ready to go back in. but I stayed with her the whole time, and talked her through things when she got concerned or didn't know what to do or say.
Shes came out a few times since then but I've not really been concious of it or when. I just know she has. it's hard to explain.. just like i know there are some that i dont know who or how i know there are some parts that i dont know names or even heard of them but i know they exsist. weird feeling but i know it...

But all you can do that I know of, is be supportive, validate their feelings, and reasure their safety and let them know all they can do if they are able to learn more. Each part is an individual. They may not like or want the same thing you do, it's just something that takes place i suppose. Some of us have some disorders that the others do not. thats how diffrent we are... some need antidepressants while others dont. its a very weird thing. I dont understand it yet. though I haven't really read up on it either so that may be why I dont understand.
Also, if they tend to latch on to one thing likeing it when your expressing all the things they could do if they learned such as talk or walk better, then you might want to stick to that one as their goal. Ask them if thats what they want to do. Then reassure them that you will help them get to that goal. If i had more than one at a time needing help I'm unsure if I could handle it. so I would say try to stick to one at a time to help with, but I could see an attention problem that would surely rise up if it happened within my system now, so I dont know if it is that way for everyone or just me.

~Abbigail
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