I'm not dis-passionate. right up front...controlling myself over the years has been at times life or death....life 'and' death..at the same time...often enough to worry me just a little bit.

2 days ago I flipped out at someone I believed I never should ...not ever.

I never did...this person was so remarkably 'absent' from anything I felt or went thru...'just' being with them.

(how astonishing?)

I let this person have it!....I was overcome by emotional horrors......so integral to my being I suffered the wacked out! confusion everyone tries their best to avoid.

my baby bpd turned into a professional athletic adult with this person.

I let this person have it....!
just words...written and spoken.

I was gentle but assertive...calm but deliberate.

no doubt the 'person' shuddered with denial and embraced the gifts of normality immediately!

but I did what I had to do...FOR ME. to recognise it will continuously trip me over for the rest of my life and death...

unless I can 'lose it' the way I need to ...get the pain out of my system,

and I don't care at all what the person thinks now..this person hurt me...and it was time they knew....but I still doubt they will get it!

and thats fine ...

so 'according to me'

I did the right thing for me