Thanks for the support. Its much appreciated

..I am not seeing a therapist or taking any medication at the moment. I have tried medication in the past but the side effects were not great ..so I stopped. And the last time I went to the local surgery ...about 7 years back..., I talked first to the practise nurse who suggested I see the doctor who was 'great' with depression...He suggested I get a job stacking shelves and gave me some meds. I didnt go back after the course of meds finished (the side effects again were not great) and because there was no understanding

Ive also tried some self help and had some success esp with mindfulness meditation to calming the nerves. When I have the energy I also excercise and this also can give a me some relief.

My depression is cyclical ..and I kind of came to terms with this a long way back and just waiting for it to pass. This is a particularly bad spell however and triggered by moving home after working abroad where i was happy for the most part.

Its confusing ..I have a feeling of being duty bound to stay but since I came back...its just been a slow deterioration. I didnt reckon on how hard it would be to get a foothold again with just the basics..work, housing , relationships, family.