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Thank you for both replies. I'm sorry you are in the ER or were in the ER for a migraine I know how horrible they can be. And the tests they do just make it that much worse. I hope you are feeling better today!
I wish I could change doctors but right now my work is giving me the run around with insurance and I only make $8 an hour, I have a child so I can't afford doctors as of yet or insurance for myself yet. Thankfully she has insurance. I found a doctor that works with a christian group to see after the seizure. I had to wait 3 months after the seizure before I could even get in to see him.
I did pay out of my pocket to see a neurologist. They aren't too cheap. $160.00 just for him to deny me a CT scan on my head saying he didn't want to break the bank on it. He told me nothing, did nothing for me. Just took my money and sent me on my way, didn't even tell me what to do in case it happened again. Nor did the ER, they all just sent me on my way but of course they did contact the DMV to have my license suspended for 3 years because of the seizure (which I understand) but wouldn't do any tests at all. The new doctor I can only get in to see once every 3 months and he's nice... But I could tell he was judging me from the get go. And he wouldn't listen to what I said about anything. I told him about all of the dx's of schizophrenia and DID bipolar and PTSD anxiety yada yada yada. He told me to cut down on caffeine which I did. I'm down to one soda in the mornings and that's it whereas before it was about 8 bottles a day. It helped a little but not much... The anxiety is still terrible and I'm finding out I'm losing more time than I thought.
I logged into chat and had people kept talking to me as if I were on there the day before, people I have never spoken with. This kind of thing keeps happening. People are coming up to me acting as if we are close friends... But I don't really have friends I have a difficult time wanting to make friends... But somehow I'm a social butterfly or something lately without knowing it becoming great friends with all kinds of people I don't know... That doesn't sound like a migraine... But I'm no doctor.
I've only had one confirmed seizure and it was a bad one, but considering the circumstances of the evening, it's not too surprising I had a seizure to begin with. My fear of having another one is getting less and less extreme which is helping the anxiety but still not stopping it.
I just find it hard to believe it's all migraine induced, although it is all in your head as is a migraine so I could be wrong. I just really really really do not like taking meds. My dad is a crack head who started on meds and is the reason for my DID dx (the first of the blackouts). I was taking 32 pills a day when I was 15 for my mental health. I was a zombie. I don't want that.
I don't like medicine. I refused to even take Tylenol when I was pregnant with my daughter. The chemicals give me a very uncomfortable nervous feeling and I always get panicky when I take meds. Even when I take my Valium for the first 20 minutes until it starts working I'm battling a panic attack just from taking the valium. And that's when I take 1/2 of a 5mg. My anxiety with meds mixed with my anxiety about my heart and blood pressure makes taking any meds for your heart very difficult to me. But you're right he's a doctor I should try it... Ugh but I really don't want those chemicals poisoning my body! If I could just get a 5mg valium to take 1/2 in the morning and 1/2 at night and a low dose sleeping med I think it would really clear things up.
But you can't go to a doctor asking for things like that or they will think you're a junkie. My dad is a crack head, I saw what junkies do to families and stay far far from it. I have very good self control and do not allow myself to become addicted to anything, even when they were giving me 6 lortabs a day for my back for about a year, I would only take one every 4 or 5 days for my back, typically I wait through the pain. I never take migraine meds, messing with my brain is another fear.
I go on about 5 hours of sleep a night and wake up at 5am every morning. I'm exhausted but I can't sleep. I wake up all night long. I think this really contributes to the anxiety but I can't help waking up so much. I've tried all the techniques to better sleep and they don't work. Add that with blackouts and voila anxiety non stop. I really think that's the major issue and the migraines are caused from the blackouts as many doctors have told me before, not the other way around.
The doctor is free though, I don't have to pay and I really can't afford to pay. If he even considered my previous diagnosis from other doctors, I would feel much better but he completely disregarded all of my mental diagnosis and said it's caused by migraines. I've been struggling and fighting my whole life with these "disorders" I just had my boyfriend last night search the entire apartment for some noise I heard sounding like boiling water that he couldn't hear at all. This is a every day thing for me, this of some sorts. I say this as I continuously look over my shoulder hearing people whispering sucking their teeth walking etc and no one is behind me. But this I guess is caused by migraines as well? Ask my doctor and I'm sure he'll find a way.
It's pretty frustrating. I don't care what label they put on it really, but I do care what meds they give me to treat the problem. I'm a very anxious person as it is. Especially in relation to medication. When I already have low blood pressure and an irregular heart beat, it seems like putting me on medication to lower my blood pressure when it already averages rather low isn't the best idea. But who knows, it's also used to help irregular heart beats and help panic attacks, but what happens if my blood pressure gets too low when it's already low to begin with? I smoke cigarttes, it would take me 1/2 a pack of cigarettes back to back, a ton of stress and running a mile to get my blood pressure up to the normal range, I don't need it lowered... But I will try...
I don't think I told him about my low blood pressure, it was my first appointment with him and there were so many other things to tell him I guess it slipped my mind, I wish it hadn't now. I left out a lot in that appointment but he was running behind schedule as it was, it was my first appointment and he didn't seem to want to be there during the apointment so... Yeah... Not having medical sucks.... I need a t... I had one who specialized in DID once, I wish I wouldn't have taken it for granted at the time...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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