Hi, lonely, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

It sounds like your not talking much is what could be causing you so much pain; the others cannot know you would like to be included unless you say so and join in in the conversation. Usually when a group decides to go out together, a couple people agree together through conversation and then others ask to "come along". If you hear about an event, you should just grab the person nearest to you that you know if going or was one of the instigators and ask if you can come along too.

We all have to "advertise" ourselves so we get noticed. Did you point out that you had just gotten your flip? Were you all excited and smiling and telling the others to "Look, I got my flip?" If we are in the "middle" of a group, it can be hard to be noticed; think of the "C" student versus the "A" or "F" student? We all know who the brainy ones are or the ones who skip, don't do the work, cause trouble in class? But the majority of us in the middle need to speak up to get noticed by the others like us.

I did not talk to people much either when I was your age and know that lots of people thought I was stuck up or aloof or any number of things I was not. It confused me too. But since I was "unknown" I was a bit scary to them, I could be anything? I needed to make myself known, my thoughts and opinions and wants, etc. or others cannot react to me and have any kind of relationship with me.