Hi, FloatLikeAButterfly. I think your feelings are more common than you think, especially now when you are beginning to start work on becoming an adult yourself.
I would see if you could talk to a counselor about them, get some help and support your mother is not able to give to you and your having to take on the role of supporting her, as a child. See if the school counselor or your medical doctor can get you in a program where you will have better female support and mentoring that will continue for a few years as you mature instead of be "make-shift" like you are attempting with your teachers.
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"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius
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