I didn't wear make-up when growing up, as it wasn't permitted by my parents. So I never got in the habit and still don't wear it much today. If I wear anything, it will be some light foundation, because I have really poor skin tone and the foundation helps even it out. I don't feel inferior for not wearing make-up, though. I know this is not fair, but I think of people who wear a lot of make-up as being superficial--so concerned with their outward appearance that they have to use 8 different products on their face before they step out of the house. I prefer genuine people who aren't so concerned with appearances. If I had a therapist who wore a lot of make up, I might not like that because they would seem superficial to me. I know there are so many generalizations and biases in what I just wrote... I just have this association from school days--the girls who wore make-up were all giggly and silly and talked about boys and make-up and dieting all the time. They were boring to me. As for clothes, I had an older brother and two sisters and wore all their hand-me-downs. I just came to not care much for clothing and even as an adult I dress kind of like a slob! I guess it goes down to the superficiality thing again. If someone spends so much money and time on clothes, they must be superficial--that is how my logic goes (distorted, I know).

I never really fit in at school or really anywhere. I try not to let it bother me. I have good attributes even if I don't fit in. As for feeling inferior to T, I do in some ways. I feel, for example, that I would not want to be his friend outside of session. I would feel "not good enough" for him. Like he is so much more together than I am and I have so much dysfunction, like I can't even keep my house clean. I just feel he is on another level and I wouldn't be up to that. I think his friends and family must be much better than I am, as he is a great guy, so he would be surrounded by great people. In therapy, I don't have to worry about that, thank goodness. He gets paid to help me whether I am up to his level or not!

Rainbow, I think if you want to wear make-up, you could. It's not too late to learn! You can go to a cosmetics counter at a department store, and they could help you with technique. I went once to get help with the really dark circles under my eyes and it was a painful experience. The lady get patting under my eyes--a very sensitive area--with her fingers in a really vigorous way. On and on. She was trying to plump up the skin, she said. I don't know why. It really hurt and I was sore for days. I was too embarrassed to stop her from hurting me, as I thought well maybe this pain is what women have to endure daily if they want to look good (like how some women wear really painful shoes?) and I should just deal with it. Never again. (I still don't get why you need to smack yourself repeatedly beneath your eyes in order to wear concealer. I just don't get make-up! LOL) I realize what I just wrote is not very encouraging.