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Irreplaceable · Dec 15, 2011, 01:44 PM

I can't tell you whether or not you should or shouldn't have kids with your husband, but you need to be very careful...The way that your husband is responding to this whole thing is very puzzling to me....I understand that is his father...But wrong is wrong....I would hope that he wouldn't put the safety of his child at risk because "he wants his child to have a relationship with his father"...Exactly what type of relationship is he talking about? Doing sleep overs? Taking them out for ice cream? Babysitting? Doing things that grand parents do with their grandchildren? This man should not be left alone with kids...Period...If you do plan on having kids, I strongly suggest that you and your husband sit down and have a talk about what is acceptable as far as his father is concerned....As far as I'm concerned, his father is a sick individual who needs to be kept away from children...Obviously, the nurse that talked to you has never been abused or had any of her kids abused...If she did, I doubt that she would be so nonchalant with her response...Yea, pedophils shouldn't be left alone with kids...DUH....But the whole grooming thing is what would concern me...Only my 2 cents...

Edit: And I had to add this...There is no way in hell that man would be in the same room as my child...If my husband has a problem with it, then he has a problem with it but this isn't something I would back down from...You know how you have to pick your battles in relationships? Well, this would definetly be a battle I wouldn't let go of...Think about this stat: 60% of children will be abused by the time they are 18 years old...And the majority of those abused, are abused from someone they know....And trust...It really bothers me that your husband is reacting like this/said he wants his child to have a relationship...Maybe if he knew that your sister in law was abused he wouldn't be so nonchalant about it...But that is family, and I don't know if I would get in the middle of that....If the sister in law isn't comfortable speaking on what happened to her, then I wouldn't push the issue for her to tell...But she needs to know this: Her telling what happened to her can prevent another child from being hurt by this man...Yes she may be dealing with shame and embarrassment, but her story can help...What he did is unforgiveable and he should be locked up...He has no boundaries...What man would touch his daughter inappropriately? That takes a sick person...Your CHILD? If he has so freely done it to her, there would be no hesitation for him doing it to someone else...