Neurontin, we're on the same page. I would only add that your father must surely have had his own "program" for quitting, even if it was as simple as saying "no" to a drink.

Much of the 12 steps I was already doing , in one form or another, before I started to go to the meeting but it was at least helpful to see it in a kind of codified form. Some things therein I simply don't agree with...for example, I don't believe in dredging up the past, as it seems to make matters worse in many cases. And it's often pointless. But I do make amends in my own way merely by returning to the practices of my pre-addiction days, which were characterized by good deeds and good conduct, for the most part.

Have a good next 24 hrs. ...by the way, my old man is from Flatbush, East 8th St, between Aves O and P. Still a nice neighborhood.