thanks to you all. I went to see pysch this morning (crisis team arranged an urgent app) and he has given me diazepam to help keep me calm. He said that my anger and rage come from a negative perception of self.....and that I should take diazepam for 2 weeks and then go back and see him. Problem is, an arguement broke out with my husband (before I took any diazepam) and I went into another melt down. ran upstairs and again just wanted to cut and wound myself. I am either feeling nothing, or feeling too much. Hopefully it will pass and by the time my course of diazepam runs out, I am in a better place. Anyway, I'm not currently in therapy and psych thinks its a good idea I go back into therapy so have put me on the waiting list. So right now, I am doped up to the eye balls with usual meds (which I have spread over the day) and diazepam.

Thanks again xx