Don't mean to make light of this post but I want to preface this by saying I do some reading and take some psychiatric tests that some times come out saying I'm antisocial or schizotypal, which is a frightening thought. But I don't really see how that can be accurate, I'd put more faith into a psychiatrist's diagnosis than some online test, or self-diagnosis.

Anyway, I know that the last relationship I was in was a codependent one, my ex was an alcoholic and I would make excuses for his behavior all the time. Eventually I got fed up and left him. I mistook the pity I had for his condition into some twisted affection that I thought was love at the time, but in the end I was just trying to control and change him.

I'm not saying your situation is the same, but if you feel like your doing all the work in your relationship to the point where you feel more like a martyr than a girlfriend you might be a codependent. I don't think that means your mentally deficient in any way, though.

I'm not entirely sure why it is you say you can't trust yourself, just because of the assignment in your french class and the fact that you don't like arguing. Even still there is likely something in your life you are willing to fight for.

Once your anxiety eases up a little the answers your looking for will come to you.