I agree with both you and Venus Krisicakira. I had a very good friend for several years. I always enjoyed her company and talked with her a lot on the phone. She is very intelligent and in the know about many different things, and also reads a lot.

But she had several things happen to her and she began to change. Our conversations were about a man that came into her life (she is much older than me) and promised her romance and love and travel etc. But after traveling to meet her a few times he just kind of dropped her. And she felt so betrayed, which was understandable. And her parents died and other things. Our conversations were more about her repeating things over and over again, conversations with the man, what did they mean and her history with him etc. I never told her she was repeating, I just listened somehow knowing she needed to find a way to accept the big disappointment. This went on for a long time. And she got very demanding too, wanting to go out all the time and to expensive restaurants that I couldn't afford all the time. She would offer to pay, but I don't like that, to me, well its not right.

Then it got to a point where we went out and she got onto politics with some other people and boy she just would not let up. Its ok to be passionate about ones views, but you cant keep cramming it down another person's throat. I was actually embarrassed. But I was nice and didn't say anything and just tryed to gently change the topic. Whew But the next time we went out she started verbally attacking me, she grew to be a very angry person, and I was just there and became the target for all her raging anger.

After that every time she called I did my best to say I was too busy to go out. And finally I just had to be frank with her and distance myself from her. I think I took more than most people would. I try to call her once in a while but she just isn't the same person, is still very angry. I believe she has PTSD because she shows all the symptoms. But she just wants to run, thinks going out to movies and dinner will fix her, but it doesn't and I cant be a punching bag.

Sometime we have to know that some people can just become toxic to us. We have to accept that if our efforts dont help, and we end up being abused somehow, then we have every right to walk away, just as Venus did. That can be sad as we may watch someone end up going down a bad path. But we can only do the best we can do.

Venus is right, we can offer support to others, and even know that they may truely struggle, but if that other person doesn't try to get help, we cannot become another's punching bag.

Open Eyes