So I saw my new pdoc today. It started off rough as I was the first person there but the last to be called and had to go check with the desk to get the guy to come out and finally meet with me. I was so tired I had already nodded off several times in the waiting room.

He started out saying that he was going to ask me a long list of questions and I'd have to be patient with him. Boy was he right as I battled through the barrage of questions and answers. Then we got to my alcohol use...

He finished up typing and said he was going to tell me what he thought.
Here's a jist of how that went:

"I feel that alcohol is a big part of your life. You're a functioning alcoholic. You may get to work and be able to cut back on your days at work, but you constantly think about alcohol and go all out when you have the time. You're killing yourself drinking on your meds. I can't ethically continue to prescribe you these medications knowing that you're drinking and to give them to you is killing you. You can and will die from this. I think I'm going to have to discontinue your medication. You need to be careful because you'll probably go manic. I need to suggest we admit you to our 28 day substance abuse program today to get this under control"

I just shook my head at him and told him there is no way it would work for me to go into a program like that. no way i could miss that much work. i wouldnt have a job. he said he would go get the head doctor and discuss it with her.

Then she came in and asked me a few more questions about why I was there, if i beleived my former dx was correct and wanted a better explainantion of how much I drink other than the "2-22" drinks I told the man. I told her, "It depends on the situation. I have the ability to have 1 or 2 with a meal and stop at that. I also have the ability to start the night out by drinking a 5th of liquor and then continue to drink on top of that."

At that response her jaw dropped, she put her head in her hands and said "Oh my". She suggested I seriously consider the 28 day program and that I need to catalog my drinking between now and the next visit. She said they would discuss the seriousness of the matter with their in house addiction specialist. She also ordered a full battery of tests.

I followed the man to a lab room where they collected 4 viles of blood and a urine sample. He said I was going to get an EKG but that never happened for some reason.

I could see this coming from a mile away, yet it still was a major shock to me. They told me 3 years ago i needed to go to rehab but i never did. I know I'm killing myself with my drinking but i just dont seem to care. Sorta lost at the moment. Next visit Jan. 27th.