Hugs to you. You have and are still dealing with a lot.

It appears as though you suspect you have mental health issues, but it is important that you see a doctor and get a thorough physical and mental health check. Diagnosing ourselves can lead us down the wrong path.

Depression as a result from the stuff in our lives is not uncommon and can be treated.

Please consider taking the time to take care of yourself - with the first step being a consultation with a doctor you trust.