Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
He is a very good friend, you spent 1/3rd of your day with him for 12 years! Too, he was "parallel" to you and your life, and now he is changing his life and that could be stirring up your own life and what you had wanted for yourself? People we have in our lives for that long, you can't just rip that part of our life out and have no problem with it. You "expect" and are comfortable with certain day-to-day activities and now your day is changing without your having decided to make the change.
Think about the last time you changed jobs or went from one grade to another in school, had girlfriends and then got married, etc. When we are making the change, the people we leave behind don't seem to "matter" as much as when others leave us behind. That's because when we are consciously changing we are looking forward but when others around us change, we are "left" where we are and have only a backward look to remember what it was like.
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Thanks this helped. I do have a feeling like I'm being left behind. We both loved complaining about our job, but now he's actually doing something about it whereas I am just talking. but we're in different situations. He can leave, he doesn't need to support anyone now. Me, I have to support my kids, need to work to pay the mortgage, etc.... I get that, but WHY do I have feelings of infidelity with him. I get what the other poster said about work husband, but I still think these feelings of actually being with him I cannot explain. I think at one point we both liked each other but knew we were off limits.
I wonder sometimes if he ever thought like me that fantasy if we ever had a chance in meeting or what it would be like meeting. probably no, but why do i torture myself with this senseless obsession!