.......playing 'catch up!'...with someone naturally gifted at expressing themselves....because they (seem)..to know what they want.

my dis-order..or dis-comfort makes me look 'up' to people automatically...and after intimacy I am like a slave if they are so damn cold!

my needs are never met while I meet their freakin' needs...apart from that I have maybe done something to get approval

some relationships are very damaging...beyond the obvious stuff of violence and such....it's the passive injuries we receive...and there is no way to express the pain because it is continuous and the cause is also continuous!

the cycle must be broken...

love can be distorted and it's not.'loving' them.....more like loving what I want from them cos I need it..

there is perhaps 'good' in everybody?

but often we make people good by letting them 'suck' the goodness out of us....which we need very much

j